I have had a lot happen to me in the last several months. To start off, I thought I had finally found someone that really loved me for me. Little did I know how wrong I was. I mean he was the one that said 'I love you' first and to mention about me being the 'one.' even thought I really knew what I was feeling, because I have never felt that way about anyone. To me it was plainer than me being white (fyi: I'm like a ghost), that I loved him, once I had figured it out. But in the last month or so, boy has he shown me his true side! I have to say that dating him was probably a big mistake.  But through all of this I have learned that one should really use more rational thought processes than emotional processes when making important decisions. For instance, I went and sent about $100 on two tickets for a concert that I was suppose to go with him to. The plan was that he would have a job by then and would be able to pay me for his ticket by the time of the concert. What a joke, I mean I thought that he would be able to quit smoking long enough to pass a drug test, but I guess not. So, now I am out $50 for a ticket. I did find someone to go to the concert with and since she is driving us to the concert and letting me stay the night, I said she didn't have to give me any money. Oh well, the concert is weekend after next- I can't wait. It will be my first concert!!!

I finally got a new phone!!! Its awesome! Its a samsung Propel. I really like that it has a full keyboard. Im not very fast, but its not as a big of a pain to text anymore.  And its Lime Green :D Blue it traditionally my favorite color, but Im liking green more and more now.

I found a place to do my internship with this summer. While its not really in the area that I will be getting my degree in, it will still be benefical to me. To explain more, my major deals with printing and my emphasis is Customer Service and Sales. The internship is in the production of printing. So, I will more than likely be punching holes in paper or coiling planners. But hey, its experience and it pays more that my other jobs. Now all I have to do is find a place for the summer. That is the hard part, no one will rent for only 3 months.

But I have some news that is totally rocking my world right now. I finally got an apartment! well, for the next school year. Im going to live in the campus apartments and it costs me less than living in the dorms does and you totally get a lot more to the place. Either way they are totally furnished, so its great :)

I have started hanging out with my friend that helped me scare away Michael. I say it like that, because I realize now that I could never  made that relationship work. He thought he was better than me and Im a believer that no one is better than anyone else. We are all equal in the eyes of God. Oh yeah, the friend. Her and her fiance is finally started to grow up a little- I've known them now for almost 4 years....They both still have a ways to go in my mind but we are all immature in some aspect of our lives. So I have been enjoying spending some time with them. Going out a couple of times and getting tipsy and meeting some new people.

I have to say right now, my life is pretty good. For awhile there, I just didn't know if I could handle it anymore. I have found that when I need someone to lean on the most, that is when some man will just make my life harder for me. So as much as Democrab wants to be the hero for the damsel in distress, I have yet to meet a straight man that is willing to be anywhere near that role for me atleast. Maybe I'll never get a man that can play that role and I instead is the one the will have to always the resurer of the distressed people.

Well I think that is all that has been goin on in my life, other than Im going to be an Aunt for the first time in about 3 weeks!!! To a very adorable baby boy :)

My best friend is getting married and I am one of her bridesmaids. I went to her church's bridal shower that they threw for her and afterward I helped her packed the stuff away. (they don't know where they will be living right now and they may be moving in like two months......) Her mom is letting them kept it at her house. That is where I met my friend's brother. For the two seconds that I saw him, I already thought he is cute. Later she told me that he thinks that I am too. Then the day after Christmas I came up to pick up my dress....there was complications, so I ended up eating with her family. That night was nice. The brother was showing me several youtube videos, at first it was a group of us then everyone started dropping off......so it was just us. That was nice.....I found out later that he thought that he didn't have a 'snowballs chance in hell' with me....but his mom convinced him to ask for my number, while I didn't care that he had my number, I am on a family plan. We have like 200 daytime minutes between 3 people.....so I explained it to my friend, but I think that he took it as a rejection. I, on the other hand, thought he was really hot (and still is), so I asked him to be my myspace friend. He was really happy about it.....We started sending messages back and forth, getting to know each other better. After about a week, I went up to see him after the office that my friend and I work at threw her a party. We was at the house and we watched Stepbrothers. While the movie is really crude, we both enjoyed it. Before I came up, we had already set a date where we could go to the movies on the following monday...before I started school. Well for about 3 days before we were to go to the movies, he had been having computer issues, so when he hadnt replied like he was (everyday) I didn't think anything about it. Boy was I wrong to do that! At one in the afternoon he sent me an email saying that he decided that he was going to hook back up with an ex, even though I had called at like 10 or 11 waiting for him to tell me when to drive up there.
I was mad, but not at him....instead that he choose someone else. I was hurt more than anything. Also, he has wrote a blog or so about how women just tease him. Well that is exactly what he did to me and my friend/his sister agrees with me that he wont see it that way.
He was fired from his job, that didn't bother me that he didn't have a job. He is looking and appling.....also he lives with his mom, again that doesn't bother me. I have an uncle that lives with grandma, but it is totally for the best, she is not in good health. Or that he smokes, again doesn't bother me...that fact that I smell more like smoke than he does, that bothers me......or even that he basically only likes metal (music). I am open to a lot of things in life and in music I am willing to listen and give it a shot.  and most of the stuff he was showing me he like that one nights, it sounded perfectly fine to me. There was only one that I didn't care for...if I can't understand at all what they are saying....I am not a fan.
Even though he ditched me, I miss him. but you know that it would be hard for me to trust him again....but knowing me, I would trust him sooner than I should, if you know.....
It will be awkard when it comes to the wedding weekend...I am staying the night at their mom's place.....but then again he may decide that staying at a friend's place would be more comfortable than the fouton.....I just can't get over how hard I really did fall for him. I was telling a co-worker about him, and she goes, you are really smitten aren't you? yeah, i am. He really is an awesome person, I just can't portray it to people.....and he is freaking hot, especially with a cigerette in his mouth....(so wrong, I know) but really!
So after not being in the dating world for like 5 years and then in about 4 months time, being dumped by two guys does a lot to a person....while i would like to give up, I want  a family one day and I don't think that I am a strong enough a person to have a family on my own. If I had to, I think I could, but not something that I could be like oh, let me adopt by myself...maybe when Im like 40 and single, I might feel confident enough......crazy predictiment...because I have tried the whole just wait and he will find you, yeah right.....maybe that would work if my track record was better....I attract the old and wierdos....and men don't really ask me out. urgg....time will tell.

I do really have bad luck. I swear Murphy is like a leach to me and I can't get the guy off. So for about three years now, I have random problem that surfaces- my computer won't work. I've taken it to professionals and they can't find anything wrong and it actually ran like a superhero while they were testing it. It only has problems every so often, but if it is the week of finals, then it will not work FOR SURE! that is just the intro to my problem of murphy....

So I bought this 2001 Ford Taurus from an older guy a year ago in June. Haven't had any major problems with it.....until this semester. I had to buy two tires, because the others wore to the core. So, I went to the horrible place....Wal-mart and got a deal I only had to pay $180 for two tires!!! (totally sarcarism.....) urgh, seriously why so much? anyways then my car wouldn't start, the battery was dead- flat out dead. So for the first time I was late by 15 minutes to my job at the grocery store....I hate being late! So after having to get a new battery for $60 at, again Wal-mart, I thought yes, now I won't have to worry about the car not starting. Boy was I wrong! Today, is the last day of the Semester.....I was done with finals yesterday and spent last night watching a movie (Harold and Kumar escape from Gitmo) then cleaning, packing, and cleaning and cleaning. Then today I return my movies, returned my book, order christmas gifts, ate lunch with a friend, and then tried to leave. That is when I realized that my car would not start. It is all mean about it too, because it sounds like it normal does when I go to start my car. But then it just doesn't start.....So I look at the cables (just to be sure) and then try again, nope. It doesn't even sound like its having a hard time cranking over, it just doesn't connect. So after talking to my uncle and dad, we all think it is something wrong with the distruberator......so my dad is driving up as I type. I just go to school 2 hours away, so when he gets here it will dark outside.

So, knowing that murphy is glued to me and I cannot find someway to detatch him, I am not even upset about it. Other than, I probably won't get to make supper or get to eat squirrel and dumplins..... and tomorrow is the memorial for my cousin that passed away from cancer.